Gazette

We all remember the fun we had the day NoBody christened the alaskan malamute who lived in the town, Toast ... I'm sorry to report that Toast was found sprawled out on a construction site this morning. I'm sure NoBody would appreciate a short message of support.

One more thing, some of our nearest and, dare I say, dearest were trapped outside last night in the cold and lonely wastelands. There has been no sign of them since the attack... there's little or no chance of seeing them again...

Abandonned in the desert, the 2 citizens who went outside yesterday will surely never return.

Furthermore, one of the 150 attacking zombies from last night was found in the well I'd strongly advise you to skip your water ration today, as it'd be a great way to get an infection...

dehydration took the lives of 11 citizens yesterday. An extended period of agony culminating in an excruciating death. Is there a shortage of water or something ? Mwahahahaha...

Please note : we bid a fond farewell to Trousers, the old dog that lived in the village... Trousers's incessant barking which annoyed everyone in the neighbourhood stopped for good as of last night's attack. Poor thing... The good news is that there was no loss of human life in the town to speak of.

† Raymond's death from dehydration is a worrying sign. The more you think about it, the more thirsty you become, don't you find?

Furthermore, no deaths tonight. All is well. However, I guarantee you the zombies will be starving tonight: I don't fancy our chances...

Our defences at the western wall withstood the Hordes' terrifying attack last night. Around 30 zombies ! No loss of life during the attack.

I meant to tell you, 5 citizens missed roll-call this morning... They went out last night... not one of them came back... Not ONE.